Diana’s former confidant reveals princess’ ‘agonising’ pain

A new memoir written by Princess Diana’s former dance teacher and confidant has detailed some emotional conversations during the breakdown of Charles and Diana’s marriage. Photo / Getty Images
Warning: This article contains mentions of bulimia that some readers may find triggering.
New information has been revealed about Princess Diana’s alleged emotions in the years before her and King Charles’ separation.
Anne Allan, Diana’s former confidant and dance teacher, has mostly kept her exchanges with the mother of two private. However, a new book has revealed the heartbreaking reality of their time together.
Titled Dancing With Diana: A Memoir, which is due to be released on September 10, Allan has opened up about her many hours teaching the princess how to dance.
Allan and Diana first met in 1981, just weeks after Diana and Charles became husband and wife.
Inside Princess Diana’s Secret 9-Year Dance Lessons: ‘She Was So Raw,’ Says Former Teacher (Exclusive) https://t.co/LLsfndj6PW
The then-new Princess of Wales, who was only 20, reportedly approached Allan, a London City Ballet mistress, and asked her to teach her how to dance.
In the eight years they worked together, Allan says she and Diana formed a close friendship and there were many times the princess would confide in her about her relationship with Charles and her struggle with bulimia.
In an extract from the book published exclusively by People magazine, Allan has opened up about her time with Diana, in a bid to reveal “the other side of her, the dancing side of her, the beauty within her”.
In one specific extract, Allan recalls a class the princess attended after tensions between her and Charles had escalated to an exhausting point and after a short routine, Diana gave into her emotions.
“In pure despair, she dropped to the floor, sobbing. I was distressed for her. I could feel the pain and turmoil she was in. I let her just cry,” Allan wrote.
“Diana wanted Charles to be with her and to love her. Even though she was in her own romantic affair, at this point, Charles was still the man she desired and that was why it was so agonising for her. ‘Keeping my family together is the most important thing to me,’ she said, still crying.”
Heartbreakingly, it wasn’t the only instance of Diana attending dance class with tears in her eyes, Allan claimed.
She said Diana had come upset multiple times and recalled another instance when the princess spoke about her suspicions Charles was seeing Camilla during their marriage.
Allan said Diana told her that she wanted her husband to be “proud” of her more than anything, but she felt he wasn’t.
In the midst of her pain and a failing marriage, Diana also allegedly told the dancer that she didn’t understand why she wasn’t “enough” for the then Prince of Wales and Allan claimed she went on to make a heartbreaking confession.
“I know he is seeing Camilla again. Am I expected to accept that, like the other Princesses of Wales before, one just turns a blind eye to husbands having a mistress! Why does he not love me? I really don’t understand. I have tried everything, tried to conform to his wishes even though I don’t always agree. There’s no affection between us, and I am always on my own. I just want to be loved. I can’t keep going on like this. They are really expecting me to just say nothing and keep going. How do I do that?” the princess allegedly said.
It has been widely reported Charles and Camilla first began their affair in the late 1970s, while Camilla was married to Andrew Parker Bowles.
Following Charles and Diana’s wedding in 1981, they reportedly called it off and didn’t resume their relationship until 1986, according to royal author Andrew Morton.
Morton claims he was told by Diana herself is a series of recordings for his book Diana: Her True Story.
Diana and Charles separated on December 9, 1992 with then-British Prime Minister John Major announcing the news in a public appearance before the House of Commons.
Charles later confessed in 1994 during an interview with ITV that he had an affair during his marriage to Diana and in August 1996, they legally divorced.
While Charles and Camilla were spotted together many times in the 90s, they didn’t make their first public appearance together until 1999.
Elsewhere in the book, Allan recalled a conversation she and the mother of two had about her eating disorder.
Writing that Diana took a long time before opening up to her about it, the princess allegedly said she was “so ashamed” by her condition. Allan went on to give readers a brief insight into the complicated reasons for Diana’s bulimic tendencies.
The princess allegedly said her condition began when she started going to “important functions” and would sit at dinner parties with equally important guests.
“Meeting so many people was terrifying to her and the feeling that she was being judged with every move she made or how she looked or what she said caused her to feel totally inadequate,” she said.
The dancer said she told Diana that understanding her condition would help her move forward and overcome it.
While the book shares many heartbreaking discussions that allegedly occurred between the two women, it also included some sweet moments, like Diana’s comments about her sons, Prince William and Prince Harry.
During their lessons after William was born, Diana reportedly told Allan she “couldn’t sleep” as she was up so often checking on her son and said she “wanted to spend all her time” with William.
Later, when she and Charles welcomed Harry, Diana allegedly gushed over how good of a big brother William was and said she “loved watching them together”.
As for Harry’s red hair, Allan claims Diana told her it showed the prince was a Spencer “as well as a Windsor”. She reportedly added, “My daddy is thrilled, but I’m not too sure what Charles thinks about that.”
Dancing With Diana: A Memoir will be available in the US on September 10. It’s unclear when it will be available to New Zealand readers.
If you know someone with an eating disorder, or are struggling with one yourself, you can reach out to the following places: